What I'm Loving Right Now

Corrr, I haven't done one of these posts in ages. I love a good list, and I always find this one surprisingly easy to write. Turns out there are good things nestled in amongst the everyday that you tend to overlook. Yay!

1. Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - mateeeeeeeeeee. I booked this a year and 3 months ago. We saw both parts 1 and 2 on Sunday and oh my was it the most fantastic thing I've ever seen. It was like real magic, the plot was brilliant and the actors, sets and special effects incredible. It was so so so worth the long wait and the cost. Unfortunately, as part of their #KeepTheSecrets I am going to say no more about it. No details from me. Go and see it for yourselves (although you'll have to book years in advance no doubt), you won't regret it!!

2. Jack Whitehall: At Large - I also went to see Jack Whitehall at the O2 on the Friday evening. I'd booked the tickets for my best friend's Christmas present (they just happened to be on the same weekend as HP so a busy one!). He was absolutely hilarious and did so much more than I thought he would, his set was so long!

3. Reading goal is well under way - this shouldn't make me as excited as it does but I am eleven books into my 50 book reading goal already and it's only just turned March. Some people have read so many more and I don't even know how that's possible but I am loving the diversity of things I'm reading.

4. Going away this weekend - another busy weekend ahead of me. Adeel and I have booked to go to Jersey in the Channel Islands this weekend and it looks very nice and relaxing. Can't wait for some peace away with my love!

5. Visit home - I went home the other weekend to see my grandparents mostly, but also to visit my youngest cousin as she's recently had a baby and I wanted to see them both. Another girl addition to the family, but she is gorgeous. I held her for a couple of hours and it made me feel all gooey inside! Is it too much to say I want a baby?!

6. The Walking Dead - oh my god. Why have I not watched this already? It took me so long to decide to watch it but I literally blitzed through almost the entirety of season 4 in one day. I'm just about to start season 5 and I am so excited. I LOVE IT. 

7. Work is on the up - with everything feeling all over the place for a little while after my old boss left, I was starting to dislike work a little bit. I just found it boring and wasn't enjoying it as much. But the three of us left in the team recently got assigned different managers each, so although we're split up, we're part of new teams and I've started doing some more interesting stuff which is good! I'm going on a course and even doing a few printer visits so it seems it's on the up again! I'm so happy about that because I really do love this job (:



Hope your weeks have been eventful and interesting too.

If I get enough time I'll try to schedule a post for Sunday evening (although I'll be away). Otherwise I'll post on Monday again.



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What I'm Loving Right Now

For the last few weeks now, I've left it until the last possible minute to write these posts, I've taken pretty much three weeks off of running with going back home a couple of times and I seem to have lost all motivation of writing again.

Maybe it's because it's the end of summer and as the colder weather starts to creep back in I'm feeling a different kind of lazy.

The summer lazy is understandable, it's warm, you're sleepy, it's nice to just lounge in the sun, etcetera etcetera.

But this kind of lazy is just a tiredness in which I can't find the motivation to do anything. 

I've been powering through One Tree Hill again and they've just graduated high school and it's gone on to being four years later and it just astounds me that the majority of them can have their dreams come true so quickly. (I know it's just a TV show but it makes me want to work a little harder for my dream).

I really really want to be a writer, someone who writes incredible novels that people want to pick up and read, maybe even a bestseller. But, although I've written one novel (and am still in the process of editing it), I'm terrified it won't be good enough.

Like, there are so many stories and books out there that why would anyone decide to choose mine to read?

I don't know what to do, so I keep reading for inspiration.

I may start writing snippets that come into my head on here - unrelated to my book, just peaks into other stories I may expand on in the future.

I'm too scared of what others may think, but I also need opinions and giving it to my friends and family to read is one thing, but they're obviously going to be biased.

A couple of posts ago I wrote about facing your fears, and this is one I've yet to overcome.

Anyway, rambling aside, here are the things I've been loving recently:

Images From Pinterest

1. TV - The Musketeers, The Strain, Containment, Stranger Things - I just think TV has gotten so much better of late. I loved the final season of The Musketeers, it obviously wasn't the most realistic of endings but I wouldn't have exactly been happy if they'd killed anyone else off! Containment and Stranger Things are two new series I've been trying and they are so so good right now. I think with both of them I have about three episodes left of each! The Strain has also just re-started for it's third season and I have to say, it is so tense and gripping. I LOVE IT. (I seem to have a weird obsession with virus-y type programmes of late).

2. iPhone SE - I upgraded a few days ago, and although it looks exactly the same as my 5S, it is rose gold and has way more space for my photos. IOS 10 is also amazing. Me and Adeel have pretty much been conversing in GIFs alone of late, it's hilarious.

3. Fred Perry shoes - I wanted some new white plimsol-like trainers for ages and I saw this cute pair on ASOS. They weren't by any means cheap, and they are definitely a little dirtier now, but they're cute and I can wear them with anything.

4. Driving - I'm slowly gaining my confidence with driving again. I keep getting sudden urges to drive a bit further than just around the block or to Tescos, but I'm not entirely sure where to go. I need a proper destination and to set up my phone so that I can use it as a SatNav before I try anything too far!

5. My boyfriend - It's coming up to our four year anniversary and I'm mega excited. Not because we've planned anything special yet or anything, just because it means we will have gotten past the point last time in the relationship where we couldn't figure out how to go further. (Plus it's been four years ago around this time that we met each other for the first time! Eek.)

6. My friends - since spending time at home and being able to see my friends again (and getting my car), I've been thinking about trying to see them all a bit more. It's so difficult us all living so far apart, but hopefully the car will help with that. It's great to spend time with them, it makes me feel like I'm not alone, even just texting them. (I've been feeling very lonely of late and I'm not sure why.)

7. Working on my future - I've been at my job now, officially, for just coming up to a year (it's been a bit longer if you include work experience and interning too). We've just had our annual review things and I've been looking at new places to live and trying to get back into my writing again. It's a slow process but the future is looking bright, I hope :)

Stand For What You Believe In

It's been a busy ol' week and I'm glad to have the weekend to chill out a bit. 

Sunday's always seem to be my favourite day as it's usually the day Adeel comes over or it's the day when I can be lazy and do absolutely nothing.

Close-up of a bee whilst out catching Pokemon

When I was at home, my mum and step-dad used to always do the roast dinner on Sunday's and we'd sit together in the lounge and watch one of those family-type programmes.

I miss that with them being in Dubai, me here and my sister just not interested in spending time with the family anymore.

I took a half day on Thursday and went home because it was my cousin's baby's first birthday, which was cute.

She had a bit of a party at hers and there were so many people and babies and balloons, it was a bit chaotic!

My other cousin, the younger one, is about four months pregnant and we just sat and chattered away the entire time as I hadn't seen her since she'd announced that she was expecting.

It was such a nice evening, which was finished off at my grandparents, eating lots of cheese on toast and listening to classical music. Perfect.

Two tiny books I got for Dolly's 1st birthday

Religion seems to have been the hot topic this week, at least for me. It was discussed earlier in the week with A, a few days ago with my colleagues at work and then with my grandparents as well funnily enough.

It fascinates me, but I don't ever think I will fully understand it not being a believer and all. I guess I just don't get why it has to cause so many problems; wars, arguments, separation between races, relationships breaking apart.

And why are there so many different Gods, wouldn't it be easier for there to just be one overall God and be done with it?

Although if people didn't fight about religion, they would find something else to fight about. It seems to be the way of the human race, we can't just all agree and get on with our lives.

I get that people need something to believe in. It's daunting to think what's actually out there, or into any of those big questions. But are we ever actually going to get any answers? No.

All I'm trying to say is, if you believe in something, no matter what it may be, you should not need to challenge anyone else's opinion or feel ashamed of your own.

From TheGoodQuote's Instagram

This post is not intended to offend anyone, it's just my honest opinion



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Memories And A Future Home

This past weekend I actually made an effort to go and see my little sister for once. I normally just seem to wait until my dad asks me to come down to his and she's either there or she isn't.

I was worried it would be a little awkward, what with not seeing her mum since her and my dad's divorce or spending any alone time with Holly... Ever. I mean, what do you even talk about with an eleven year old?

Anyways, it was completely fine. She chatted away amiably for the 6 or so hours we were together. I took her to my favourite park which we both just so happen to have visited countless times - Kelsey Park in Beckenham. We ambled around without an aim in the world, except for feeding the squirrels and ducks of course.

We wandered by the golf course but it was closed which was odd, so we grabbed an ice cream and continued feeding the wildlife along the way. After running out of bread we decided to head to the cinema as some thunderstorms were due in the afternoon.

We saw The Secret Life of Pets. It was an okay-ish film, but an easy one to watch nevertheless. Once the film was over we grabbed a bite to eat at Zizzi's, the one known for being the place David Bowie performed his first gig at I believe, when a pub stood there previously.

As we still had an hour and a bit to kill before I took her back, we headed back to the park to feed more squirrels and see if the golf course was open. It was and even though we heard a loud rumble of thunder in the distance, we decided to brave it and play anyway.

Of course, when we got to hole number two it decided to start raining, the thunder getting louder and louder as we went along and the rain plummeting down. We continued on nevertheless. Definitely a new experience!

But, after a good day, you know what stood out to me? Seeing this couple in the cinema, or, I should say, family.

Just before the lights went down a man and a woman came in with another man not far behind them, a toddler holding the woman's hand and a baby curled around the first man's torso. I'm not going to go into details of why this stood out to me because it could come across wrong, like I don't know how to explain it without sounding weird. But, the point is, they gave me hope.

I always get these moments where my hope dwindles and I wonder if me and A will ever get through our current issues, or why it's so hard or if it can even work. And then I see all these couples and it never really helps. But seeing this couple did, and it got me thinking about all sorts of memories.

Do you ever feel like there are specific scenes in your life that stand out in particular to you? They may seem like nothing at the time and then you find yourself not being able to stop thinking about them.

I have one from a few years back when things weren't going great. It was in the heat of summer, I actually had a day off of work and Adeel was visiting. We were literally just laying in our underwear on the bed sideways, a fan blowing cool tendrils over our skin and some unimportant game on in the background from the World Cup. His arm lay over me. I could feel his warmth behind me even though it was a sweltering hot day and, in that moment, life was perfect.

That memory got me through some of the tough times that came after. I don't know why because it probably didn't mean a thing to him, but it was so serene and uninterrupted.

It's moments like those that actually tend to be perfect and something you wish could go on longer.

And now I have another one from two weekends ago. Similar to the first, but different in so many ways regarding our headspace and the situation. I hadn't seen him in two weeks due to family commitments on both our parts and he came for the Friday night of that weekend. We literally crawled into bed, all snuggled in the dark and the rain was pouring outside.

For nights after and, even now, almost two weeks later I still can't stop thinking about it. It hasn't been needed to help get me through any panicky moments, because I'm glad to say that rarely happens anymore. The reason I can't stop thinking about it is because it's a sign of the future, something to look forward to every night. It doesn't have to be pouring outside but I get to know that I will always have him to come home to. No matter how good or bad a day was, I will always be able to curl up beside him and fall into a safe and peaceful sleep.

I don't know what brought this stream of thought on, but I guess it's just been one of those weeks where I've been able to appreciate what I do have.

I suppose the couple in the cinema and the memory from a couple of weekends ago just seemed to click into place making me feel unable to contain my excitement for the future.

A lot has happened this week that has made me think. Life is way too short to worry about all the crap that I do, and I know I can't seem to stop wishing away the present so the future will be here, but I've definitely been appreciating the smaller moments a bit more, the simple moments that are overlooked daily.

I've even been thinking back to the first days, weeks and months that I met Adeel and how everything has changed but gotten so much better.

Those moments will last a lifetime in my mind even if I can't paste them into a blog post or a scrapbook physically, they will always be with me because they are the moments that get me through, the moments that made us who we are and the ones I will treasure.

I know this post was probably a bit ramble-y, but I like doing these sort of ones. I feel like I can get more off of my chest and open up about things, in a healthy way, that have been bothering me.

Thanks for reading if you got this far.

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Social Pressure

So, this post is going to seem hella out of the blue but it's something I've been thinking about a lot lately and wanted to get off of my chest. Plus, I'm not even too sure on how to write it without coming across.. weird, yanno?

It was my nan's birthday yesterday and I've been trying to go home a lot more as, well, they're getting on a bit and I miss seeing them as much as we used to as kids. We used to spend 2 weeks with my mum, 2 weeks with my dad and 2 weeks with my grandparents (6 weeks seemed like forever back then!) and then secondary school hit, and I just saw them less and less until I barely saw them at all when I was at uni. Granted, it was tougher considering I was in London and not a ten minute drive from them, but still.

It's just been on my mind a lot that I haven't seen them enough and I'm trying to make up for it in a way. I just don't feel as close to my family as some people do. Like, we have good chats and stuff when we're together, we just never seem to make the effort to see each other a lot. I don't know, we're weird.

Anyways, I digress.

So I shot over to St. Pancras International after work on Friday to be greeted by a whole hoard of people - there had been a signal failure further up the line causing delays. I cried on the inside but once I'd hopped on the train, we were actually only five minutes later leaving than scheduled - hurray!

We had a nice chill evening in watching Jurassic World and chatting away, settling in for the night in preparation for the following day.

After my sister had finally finished faffing about, doing God knows what, we headed over to my grandparents yesterday afternoon. We arrived before everyone else (just us and the grandparents) and settled in for my granddads infamous buffet-style dinner (he used to be a chef back in the day so I always look forward to the food!)

And then the others showed up, including my cousin and her baby.

Which leads me to my confession.

I'm really really broody. Like, I don't think I can control it right now, especially when I see my cousin's daughter. She is sooooo adorable.

But, well, basically, this post was meant to be addressing the fact that most women still feel the pressure to have kids even if they don't want them. I used to not want kids, as in I loathed the idea of them and any I came into contact with and whenever I aired the fact that I didn't want them, people would just look at me and be all "you'll change your mind, trrrrust me."

And then there are the others that are all "you should be grateful you can have kids, you're so selfish if you don't want to take advantage of what you can have, blah blah blah."

No.

I just think it's ridiculous that women have to feel like this, like it's hard wired into our DNA and we're meant to want this. Men don't have to want to have them, so why do we? We're allowed to play the field, be career or goal orientated.

Okay, so I have changed my mind but that's not because I feel pressured to, it's because I want to.

I'm still torn though. I mean I really really want them at the moment, but I'm also loving my job and don't want to take time off right now (plus there's the whole living situation and whatnot - which will hopefully be changing in the near future. Fingers crossed!)

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is I guess it doesn't help that I've been home a lot more recently for family birthdays and seeing my second cousin's adorable little face and the way my cousin has changed, it just makes me want it way more. Plus, A is so family-orientated that just seeing him with his little nephews and nieces makes my heart melt.

I don't know if any of this made sense or whether it was a random mishmash of my thoughts, but, yeah, I wanted to write it out, clear my head as it were.

I should definitely write spontaneously more often.

Let me know your thoughts!



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Getting Into The Christmas Spirit

Last weekend, I went back to my hometown as my hair was in desperate need of doing and I wanted to help my mum put the decorations up (I told her not to do them without me!)

St Pancras International looking stunning!

I'd been thinking for a while that I wanted a change from blonde (to give my poor hair a rest from bleach) and finally worked up the courage to try brunette.

Before

After

I also decided as I'd been working so hard recently to have a kind of pamper day and did my nails too as I hadn't done them in ages.

After Friday's pampering, Saturday arrived and it was decoration time! :)

Here are a few snaps I took of my favourite decorations:

The tree at different stages.

Okay, so maybe a bit more than a few. Must have got carried away, whoops.

Ah well. Only have one week left of uni and then hopefully I can blog more than once a week. Have so many things I want to write about!

What are your favourite decorations?

:)