What I'm Loving Right Now

For the last few weeks now, I've left it until the last possible minute to write these posts, I've taken pretty much three weeks off of running with going back home a couple of times and I seem to have lost all motivation of writing again.

Maybe it's because it's the end of summer and as the colder weather starts to creep back in I'm feeling a different kind of lazy.

The summer lazy is understandable, it's warm, you're sleepy, it's nice to just lounge in the sun, etcetera etcetera.

But this kind of lazy is just a tiredness in which I can't find the motivation to do anything. 

I've been powering through One Tree Hill again and they've just graduated high school and it's gone on to being four years later and it just astounds me that the majority of them can have their dreams come true so quickly. (I know it's just a TV show but it makes me want to work a little harder for my dream).

I really really want to be a writer, someone who writes incredible novels that people want to pick up and read, maybe even a bestseller. But, although I've written one novel (and am still in the process of editing it), I'm terrified it won't be good enough.

Like, there are so many stories and books out there that why would anyone decide to choose mine to read?

I don't know what to do, so I keep reading for inspiration.

I may start writing snippets that come into my head on here - unrelated to my book, just peaks into other stories I may expand on in the future.

I'm too scared of what others may think, but I also need opinions and giving it to my friends and family to read is one thing, but they're obviously going to be biased.

A couple of posts ago I wrote about facing your fears, and this is one I've yet to overcome.

Anyway, rambling aside, here are the things I've been loving recently:

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1. TV - The Musketeers, The Strain, Containment, Stranger Things - I just think TV has gotten so much better of late. I loved the final season of The Musketeers, it obviously wasn't the most realistic of endings but I wouldn't have exactly been happy if they'd killed anyone else off! Containment and Stranger Things are two new series I've been trying and they are so so good right now. I think with both of them I have about three episodes left of each! The Strain has also just re-started for it's third season and I have to say, it is so tense and gripping. I LOVE IT. (I seem to have a weird obsession with virus-y type programmes of late).

2. iPhone SE - I upgraded a few days ago, and although it looks exactly the same as my 5S, it is rose gold and has way more space for my photos. IOS 10 is also amazing. Me and Adeel have pretty much been conversing in GIFs alone of late, it's hilarious.

3. Fred Perry shoes - I wanted some new white plimsol-like trainers for ages and I saw this cute pair on ASOS. They weren't by any means cheap, and they are definitely a little dirtier now, but they're cute and I can wear them with anything.

4. Driving - I'm slowly gaining my confidence with driving again. I keep getting sudden urges to drive a bit further than just around the block or to Tescos, but I'm not entirely sure where to go. I need a proper destination and to set up my phone so that I can use it as a SatNav before I try anything too far!

5. My boyfriend - It's coming up to our four year anniversary and I'm mega excited. Not because we've planned anything special yet or anything, just because it means we will have gotten past the point last time in the relationship where we couldn't figure out how to go further. (Plus it's been four years ago around this time that we met each other for the first time! Eek.)

6. My friends - since spending time at home and being able to see my friends again (and getting my car), I've been thinking about trying to see them all a bit more. It's so difficult us all living so far apart, but hopefully the car will help with that. It's great to spend time with them, it makes me feel like I'm not alone, even just texting them. (I've been feeling very lonely of late and I'm not sure why.)

7. Working on my future - I've been at my job now, officially, for just coming up to a year (it's been a bit longer if you include work experience and interning too). We've just had our annual review things and I've been looking at new places to live and trying to get back into my writing again. It's a slow process but the future is looking bright, I hope :)

What I'm Loving Right Now

It seems summertime is when all my time is eaten up by countless trips home, social events and actually going out with my boyfriend.

It was only a mere few months ago that I remember complaining to my housemate that I never do anything on weekends. I just sit at home and watch TV.

But, now, I don't honestly remember a weekend that I haven't been busy.

Today is the first day in ages that I feel like I can get back to my usual self and slob out. Except, because I haven't done it in a while, it feels wrong and I have all this pent up energy spent on doing nothing.

Eh, who am I to complain?

Here are the things I've been loving recently:

1. One Tree Hill - yes, I've given in and am re-watching it for the third time. I just can't seem to get enough of all the drama and twists in this ridiculous programme. I had to find something to fill the PLL-shaped hole (although I am watching series 7 of it, but weekly episodes is never as good as a full on binge).

2. Travel confidence/striving to better my anxiety again and again - This goes hand in hand with the following point but it deserves its own mention to be honest. It wasn't all that long ago that I felt jittery and worried about leaving the house, even for work, let alone letting it all go and just going everywhere and anywhere I get the opportunity to. Beckenham, home, Faversham, Oxford. It may not seem a lot to those accustomed to just following their heart, but I'm proud of myself for how far I've come and how much I can truly push myself.

3. Oxford meal with Adeel and his work colleagues - Last Friday I left work at 4 o'clock, headed to Paddington for the first time and caught a train to little ol' Oxford for a three course meal in a boathouse. It was amazing. I'm going to do a full post about it later down the line, but it deserves a quick mention as I just loved it. Take me back.

4. The City of Mirrors - mannnnnn, this is also going to get its own post in review format but this book! Final instalment of Justin Cronin's vampire, end-of-the-world trilogy and it was as good as I could have hoped and better. READ THEM.

5. Runtastic - hey, look who's kept it up and hasn't given in to laziness again?? I'm actually loving it, it's hard work and a killer on those muscles, but the feeling of completing 1-2 miles twice a week is the best feeling ever and this app is a huge motivator.

6. Empire soundtrack - I'm always looking for new music since joining Spotify and the Empire season has not long finished and I found myself craving to hear Jussie Smollett's lovely tones. Powerful and You're So Beautiful seem to be my favourites at the moment.

7. Counting down the days to moving out - okay, so we haven't set a date or anything for actually moving in together, but it is getting nearer and nearer to our presumed month at least. I just cannot wait to leave this shared accommodation and live with my best friend and boyfriend. Sure, he'll probably drive me nuts at some point but, God, give me that any day over sharing with someone I completely loath.



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