Bad Habits

I have so many bad habits, I don't even know where to start. I thought I would write this post because the main ones have gotten a lot worse again and I don't know whether I'm subconsciously stressing about something I can't put my finger on or what. I just know I'm going crazy every time I catch myself doing one of them of late and I need to figure out a way to deal with them once and for all!

I used to be so good at being on time to everything, like not even on time, I would be mega early

So, here they are in all their glory:

1. Picking at my spots - on my face, on my arms, on my chest, on my back, you name it, I'll find a way. I've even noticed myself doing it in public now, like at work or something, which definitely isn't good. I hate walking around, even if it's just in my house, with red blotches and dried blood somewhere on my upper body because of it.

2. Chewing my inner cheeks/lips - I can't 100% remember why I started this nasty little habit, but I think it had something to do with wearing braces and them rubbing my cheeks raw in the meantime so afterwards all I've been able to do is chew them. My friend's mum even told us once that it caused mouth cancer to put us both off of doing it. We then found out this was a lie and picked up the habit again!

3. Doubting myself - I've always been shy and I've never really thought of linking that with the fact that I compare myself to others constantly. Whether it's grades in school or the way a girl looks, I'll always feel inferior to people. It doesn't help either that I have such a quiet voice and pretty much everyone talks over me.

4. Wasting weekends - this one has been pretty bad for a while (although starting to pick up now because I'm going insane staying indoors and not doing anything other than work and TV!). It's not that I feel like I'm wasting them at the time because I'm relaxing and that's what I like to do over going out any day. It's just that people are always going out, doing adventurous, wonderful things and all I do is sit at home. So, yes, this probably links back to the comparing thing. I get awfully jealous that I can't be as willing to try new things and to venture out more.

5. Negativity - now I know I've stated this one in a previous post in saying that I would stop being so negative all of the damn time. Well, there are good days and then there are the bad days. I've lately started focusing on my thoughts again, catching the negative ones and changing them to a more reasonable approach. I've also recently started meditating to see if I can calm all of my angry thoughts!

6. Lazy - see back to the wasting weekends point but also I'm struggling to find any motivation at all to work out after work or to even finish editing my novel once and for all. I just keep procrastinating everything and I'm getting sick of it. I really need to find my motivation again.

7. Timekeeping of late - I used to be brilliant at turning up on time for everything. I would even go as far as to be exceptionally early for events in fear that people would judge me if I turned up late. Now, I leave as late as possible in order to be just about on time. I don't know whether this is because my work is a little more relaxed about it, but I would like to turn up more on time, even if only for me!

I'm sure there are more bad habits that I have, I know I almost named some of my flaws as well, mixing the two. But, for now, these are the ones that are bugging me the most.

What bad habits do you endure?

✌

Goodbye Smudge

So, I've missed a few of my regular posting times/days and the last post I did was hastily done. It's been a rough few weeks with intermittent health issues, internet problems and the death of my cat.

It may seem silly to some for me to be so distraught over a cat dying, but he really was a part of the family. Like, I used to hate that saying, but I really can see it now. The pets are as good a part of us as our parents or siblings. I mean, it tends to be the animals I'm really looking forward to on a visit home. 

Sad, I know.

He was always there since I was about ten or eleven years old, doing stupid things, making us laugh. When he was a kitten, he would get into the christmas tree and sit in there until he decided to pull it down instead or tear up bits of baubles and tinsel. And even last christmas he got into the box of tinsel with eyes the size of saucers. He was so mischievous and a pain in the ass, but we loved him anyway.

It's not just that he's gone, it's more that he's left such a big empty space behind, and that's not because he was such a fat cat. I don't even live at home anymore with all of our family pets, but it's still weird to think that he's not there anymore. I've kind of even been putting off going home because, although I know he's gone, it confirms it, in a way, if I go back.

Who would have thought it would take a cat dying to make me feel more appreciative of the time I do spend with people? It's just so weird, I was at home three days before he got hit by that car and crawled his way back to our garden, where my sister fortunately found him.

I just can't stop thinking about what my sister said when I asked her if she was okay. She said the worst bit of it all was that his meowing was so sad. Reading that text broke my heart.

Who's going to drink the milk from my cereal bowl when I've eaten the rest now? Who's going to flop onto the carpet on a sunny day with his flab splaying everywhere? Who's going to purr ridiculously loudly even when we sit down on the opposite side of the bed without looking at him?

Rest in peace my poor poor baby, you didn't deserve the hand you were dealt in the end ❤

✝

The Death Cure

By James Dashner

[The trials are over. WICKED

is planning to restore the

survivors' memories and

complete the final cure for

the Flare.

But Thomas has already

remembered more than

they think. And he knows

WICKED can't be trusted.

The time for lies is over. But

the truth is more dangerous

than Thomas could ever

imagine. Will anyone survive

the Death Cure?]

I'm not really too sure of where to start for this review. I was so eager to find out how this series was going to end but then I kept putting it down being too scared to actually find out what happens. I often find the endings to epic trilogies a bit of a let down and this was somewhat similar - although the epilogue was that last glimpse of a twist!

The plot was obviously different from the last two and I'm not sure I liked it as much because of this. I preferred the Glader's constant battle for escaping the trials and with this one not being a trial per se, it just wasn't as dramatic. Yes, there were bits when they had to escape but it just wasn't the same. It didn't pack as much tension into it.

However, there were two main deaths in it, one that I saw coming and the other that I didn't (even though I really should have). The latter one crushed me. His spiral down and out of control was tragic and I can't believe the way in which he actually died - it was heartbreaking. I kept thinking he would just turn up at the end and he didn't. The other death was sad but because of the way things went with Thomas and this character I didn't feel nearly as sad as I might have done if they'd have died in the first one.

I still loved Minho in this one, you really get to see the bond between himself, Thomas and Newt which is nice. It is quite interesting that my opinion of characters changes with how Thomas feels about them though. I also enjoyed the return of an old nemesis!

It was great to go back to the Maze briefly and see those nasty Grievers once more. I think the world Dashner creates is magnificent. Everything crumbling down with the slow demise of the human race - he nails every detail.

Like I said though, the ending was a slight disappointment. It was a good battle and the imagery was epic but I was just left with a bit of a meh feeling. But then came the epilogue in which Chancellor Paige makes her entry (not physical entry however, we never actually see her) and we are left with the feeling that the Immunes are never really out of the game, they will always be WICKED's candidates - something only one of them will know for the rest of their lives...

I'm definitely interested in seeing this final film. I know the Scorch Trials film wasn't anything like the book so I wonder what they'll do for the last one!

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Is Television Too Romanticised?

What is it with everything being all perfect and lovey-dovey in everything I watch these days? 

No matter what the guy did (even if he's messed everything up, they still end up together after some romantic act of sacrifice or whatever).

I know when I was studying film, we learnt that it was because we - as humans - need a satisfying ending, something to give us hope, but isn't it all a little superficial now?

I get it, I do, but media make out a first kiss to be the most magical thing in the world - fireworks and a peak in some upbeat music. 

But what does a first kiss actually entail?

Jitters and guesswork was mine. 

Heartbeat racing so fast I couldn't concentrate. 

That's right, I had to concentrate on a kiss. 

I don't know what it was like for Adeel, but come on, kissing is so much better when you've been together for a while - you both know what you're doing and what the other one likes. 

The same goes for sex too. It's really not all that romantic for the first time like it's made out to be.

Am I just not that into this whole romantic crap? Or is it all just overly exaggerated on TV to make our hearts swoon? 

It's not exactly fair on us.

No wonder girls expect all of this rubbish. 

Guys don't really have a chance in hell of competing with the likes of Johnny Castle, Jack Dawson and Noah Calhoun now, do they?

We need to make our own expectations and stop trying to live up to the lives of fantasy couples that aren't all that realistic in the first place.

To live in the moment and not in our heads!

✌

The Scorch Trials

By James Dashner

[Solving the Maze was supposed

to be the end. No more puzzles.

And no more running. Thomas

was sure that escaping meant

he would get his life back. But

no one knew what sort of life

they were going back to ...

Burned and baked, the earth is

a wasteland, its people driven

mad by an infection known as

the Flare.

Instead of freedom, Thomas must

face another trial. He must cross

the Scorch to once again save

himself and his friends ...]

Woahh, this series is amazing. I seriously cannot wait to find out what happens in the final instalment.

It was just as tense as The Maze Runner, if not more. The main characters are still in it and going strong. Although, there were a few moments when it was unknown if the odd one of these characters were still alive or not under the circumstances.

But I absolutely loved all of the different creature-y things and adverse conditions that were included - they're all so different and fresh, it's part of what makes it such a great read.

I liked the addition of Brenda. I think, amongst all of the abnormal challenges Thomas has to face, it's nice to see him have to face something so normal - his guilt for being attracted to Brenda when he's not entirely sure of his feelings for Teresa.

I think Minho has become my new favourite character; he's funny and brave and his and Thomas's friendship is great. I was a little disappointed with Thomas and Teresa's relationship development, but there's still room for it to happen in the next one.

The ending was brilliant, so action packed and as mysterious as ever. We still don't know what the truth is or what isn't, just like Thomas, so I hope all is revealed in the final one!

And have I said how much I love that Thomas isn't afraid to show his emotions, all of his emotions? It's so refreshing to see a male character, and the hero at that, crying like a proper human being, like any sixteen year old would if they were put through all of those horrific trials!

✌

Man Crush: Sam Claflin

I can't remember which film I first saw Sam Claflin in, I think it might have been Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, but I didn't really take notice of him until The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, and I didn't realise it was some sort of a crush until The Riot Club.

It's not that he's the typical good-looking actor, it's more that there's just something about him that intrigues me, that pulls me in to watching a film, even if he is the only reason why I watch said film.

Thinking back to Pirates of the Caribbean, I didn't particularly like his character. I thought he was a goody two shoes Christian that relied too heavily on his faith to get him out of a bad situation and once the film was over I never gave a second thought to William - his character (obviously Mr Johnny Depp overshadows anyone else).

Then I realised he was playing Finnick Odair in Catching Fire, I thought somebody else, somebody more attractive could have played him - considering the description given to him in the novels. Although Claflin definitely portrayed the cheekiness and charm well, I wasn't completely sold the first time I watched it - although I am now.

After that, I think the events themselves within The Riot Club overshadowed any of the protagonists possible strengths because they were just so horrific, but I don't really remember him being any sort of character you would pine over or admire due to the stuff he got caught up in. Same with Douglas Booth.

It was in Love, Rosie that I really warmed to him. He played the best friend/love interest character so well that, even though the film wasn't particularly groundbreaking, I still often catch myself wanting to re-watch it.

Considering this and the loveable character he plays in at least two of the films I have seen him in, I am hugely looking forward to seeing the upcoming film Me Before You where he plays a recently-paralysed man being taken care of by a beautiful young woman - none other than the stunning Emilia Clarke. Due to release in June, I cannot wait to see it this summer - even if it is a classic chick flit that I'm not usually a fan of!

p.s. I don't remember him at all in Snow White and the Huntsmen as I thought it was a particularly poor film but The Huntsmen: Winter's War does look particularly good so I may have to have a little looky out for him in that!

✌

The Maze Runner

By James Dashner.

[When the lift cranks open, the
only thing Thomas remembers
is his first name. But he's
not alone - an army of boys
welcomes him to the Glade,
an encampment at the centre
of a terrible maze. The Gladers
have no idea why they're there,
or what's happened to the world
outside. And following the arrival
of a girl with a message,
they must find a way out -
or die.]

Wowwwwwww. I enjoyed the film version but this was on another level. Absolutely brilliant beginning to a series. Fast paced, action packed, loveable characters (minus the obvious few) and a whole abundance of mystery.

It was nice to feel like we, as a reader, were in the same boat as Thomas - we find out about the maze and what little they know of the outside world and the people that put them there when he does, learning as we go which was incredibly infuriating but was done to great effect of keeping us in the dark until the right moment.

It was a shame that I couldn't build up my own picture of each character having previously seen the film beforehand, but I couldn't remember the grievers so I had my imagination to thank for that one! They were creepy and unique and disgusting all rolled into one, it was great. I loved the added drama of Teresa's arrival and I'm definitely looking forward to seeing her and Thomas's relationship grow in the next one.

The ending was heartbreaking and dramatic and so many twists were thrown at the reader it was hard to keep up. My head was spinning with the tension. But I loved it. And although the Gladers appear to trust the newcomers, I know I sure as hell don't.

Can't wait to see how the next one unfolds!