Fan Art, Friends and Cars

We lost our second cat at the start of this week.

It seems so long ago already as I've been back to London since then and met up with a few friends.

It was only in April that Smudge was taken from us unexpectedly. He was hit by a car sadly, such a horrible way to go.

But Kittie, she was getting on a bit so we knew it was coming soon.

Mum said she was purring right up until the end. Heartbreaking :(

 

Sorry to start this post off with a bit of a downer, but just look at how beautiful she was.

She was always there for a cuddle when I was growing up. Sixteen years of my childhood.

Anyways, I am now back at home again after a whirlwind few days at work, just so I get to see mum and Neil before they go back to Dubai.

I've seen a couple of friends already and have a couple more to go as well as my grandparents. Just trying to relax mainly as I haven't taken any holiday in quite a long time.

I went bowling last Saturday with a friend from college I hadn't seen in 2 years. Saw another friend from college for dinner after work one day.

I also saw one of my best friends yesterday and she's obsessed with gaming and tumblr and whatnot. So now that I've come back from seeing her I have a new (old but returned) love for tumblr again.

We looked at a lot of fan art yesterday (mainly for Fallout 4 as she loves it) and it's made me want to start sketching again.

I miss it so much.

I used to do it all the time. I mean I worked my butt off at GCSE and got an A*.

I was so proud.

And then college came along and my art class got dropped and photography took over my world. If only I'd have continued drawing.

There may be a few dodgy sketches to come before I can get back into the swing of things, but I really am hoping to start up again if I can find the time.

I've also been trying to get a car as I suddenly got the urge to drive (plus Adeel's insurance is super expensive since his accident)! I've put a deposit down and test drove it, so I should be picking it up Tuesday if all goes smoothly.

Fingers crossed! (I'm sure I'll post pictures once it's all official, got to drive it back to London on Wednesday yet - scary!)

And on another note, as this is an arty post, I still haven't thought of a name for my bloody novel.

At this rate it never will have a name. Why is this bit harder than the actual writing?

Ah, oh well. I've got a few more days here and then I'm back to normality.

Wish me luck.

Girl Crush: Carrie Bradshaw

I was late to the Sex and the City party. As in the only reason I actually came across it was because all of my family were out one night (same old homebody, aren't I?) and I was bored of watching Friends reruns. No good films were on either, I believe. But I came across a couple of episodes of Sex and the City and thought why the hell not?

I'd heard good things about it. Very good things. But I didn't know how much I would actually enjoy it. Yes, the show was a little dated but some of the fashion items, New York city in all her glory and each career of the four girls was enough for me, something to envy and look up to even. 

And so my girl crush on Miss Bradshaw commenced.

The strong female leads were definitely something that drew me in, with each of them teaching me many lessons about life, relationships, careers and whatnot, especially that you can be your own woman without a man to make you happy (although it is pretty good to have one too).

Anyways, moving on.

I can't remember a specific time of wanting to be a writer, but it has always been there in the background, amongst the fleeting careers idea of wanting to be an artist, a photographer and even a tattooist at one point (crazy I know, but I was heavily influenced by the likes of America's Next Top Model and Miami Ink during my teen years!)

Writing gives me freedom, escapism, life. I absolutely adore it. And so whenever I see a protagonist that is a writer, I instantly click with them, wanting to be them, looking for hints in any way shape or form to get to where I want to be.

So - for me - this makes Carrie's life perfect. I aspire to have one like hers. I want to write books, to be published, to have a meaning in somebody's life, to have my own place where I can escape to and write to my hearts content, hell I'd even try writing a column if the opportunity came my way. 

The only thing is, blog posts are the only writing I've been doing of late. My novel's first draft is done but it needs a lot of editing and I. just. keep. putting. it. off. I get so annoyed at myself because I can be on the train, listening to my Pirates of the Caribbean score and ideas just swim into my head and I scramble to add them into the notes on my phone.

But they stay there, awaiting to be written up.

So, excuse me whilst I go and browse Amazon for a boxset of Sex and the City and avoiding my editing plans once more...

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Stopping Negativity

I read a post the other day that said something along the lines of "you should own your successes" and that got me thinking about the way I've been handling things.

I am so negative in general that I get on my own nerves at times. I always see the bad side and, well, I can be way too serious. I haven't even taken credit for getting my current job. Yes, it was partly luck or fate or whatever you call it with the timing that I got picked for the work experience out of all of the candidates in the first place that led to my job. But even so, was it a coincidence or did something on my CV stand out to grab their attention?

Even so, just me applying in the first place was through my own initiative and no one else's. Plus, the working super hard to make a good impression during my work experience evidently paid off, setting me up in the future for this job.

Every time I have spoken to someone about my job, I made it out to be a "lucky break" and that doesn't do much to help my confidence. I applied for the job, I worked hard, I got the job. I am responsible for my own future, not luck.

I've also been pretty negative in the past about my other job opportunities. Although waitressing (I was actually a food runner, but who even knows what they are unless you've been in that industry?!) wasn't the best fit, it was ideal at the time. I earned money and valuable skills whilst doing so. I'm not one to particularly enjoy a whole group of peoples company, especially tourists, but that job definitely helped me to gain confidence, strength (physically and mentally!) and a lot of patience. Plus, I occasionally got some tips and not all of the shifts or my colleagues were terrible. Free food with a beautiful view at the end of my shift was also a nice bonus.

And where do I start with Photography? Although I may have thought the teacher's methods were a pain in the ass and I didn't enjoy the majority of the projects or my classmates (what is it with the arts and stuck up snobs?), I think pursuing photography - even if just at academic level - plays a huge part in who I am and where I am today. If I hadn't of studied it I wouldn't have met the people I have done, and those ones are some of the most important ones. So, no, I wouldn't change that for the world no matter how aggravated I got repeatedly with all of my photography teachers over the five years of college and uni.

Now, the one I'm still struggling with at times - house sharing. This is constantly a battle for me sharing with multiple tenants. Especially when there's a partial language barrier between some of us. I can't stand mess and the tiniest of things get on my nerves, but at the end of the day it's a roof over my head, plenty of opportunities to meet and socialise with people I wouldn't normally have done so with, new languages to learn, new friends and a home in London. Having said all of that, I can't wait for September when I can move in with Adeel - and that's when all the fun begins and we have to learn to put up with each other's annoying little habits full time!

So here's to positivity - may I try harder to be a better, happier person, to enjoy life instead of moaning about it and to appreciate everything I do have.

And what better time to start it than my birthday month ☘

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