Stopping Negativity

I read a post the other day that said something along the lines of "you should own your successes" and that got me thinking about the way I've been handling things.

I am so negative in general that I get on my own nerves at times. I always see the bad side and, well, I can be way too serious. I haven't even taken credit for getting my current job. Yes, it was partly luck or fate or whatever you call it with the timing that I got picked for the work experience out of all of the candidates in the first place that led to my job. But even so, was it a coincidence or did something on my CV stand out to grab their attention?

Even so, just me applying in the first place was through my own initiative and no one else's. Plus, the working super hard to make a good impression during my work experience evidently paid off, setting me up in the future for this job.

Every time I have spoken to someone about my job, I made it out to be a "lucky break" and that doesn't do much to help my confidence. I applied for the job, I worked hard, I got the job. I am responsible for my own future, not luck.

I've also been pretty negative in the past about my other job opportunities. Although waitressing (I was actually a food runner, but who even knows what they are unless you've been in that industry?!) wasn't the best fit, it was ideal at the time. I earned money and valuable skills whilst doing so. I'm not one to particularly enjoy a whole group of peoples company, especially tourists, but that job definitely helped me to gain confidence, strength (physically and mentally!) and a lot of patience. Plus, I occasionally got some tips and not all of the shifts or my colleagues were terrible. Free food with a beautiful view at the end of my shift was also a nice bonus.

And where do I start with Photography? Although I may have thought the teacher's methods were a pain in the ass and I didn't enjoy the majority of the projects or my classmates (what is it with the arts and stuck up snobs?), I think pursuing photography - even if just at academic level - plays a huge part in who I am and where I am today. If I hadn't of studied it I wouldn't have met the people I have done, and those ones are some of the most important ones. So, no, I wouldn't change that for the world no matter how aggravated I got repeatedly with all of my photography teachers over the five years of college and uni.

Now, the one I'm still struggling with at times - house sharing. This is constantly a battle for me sharing with multiple tenants. Especially when there's a partial language barrier between some of us. I can't stand mess and the tiniest of things get on my nerves, but at the end of the day it's a roof over my head, plenty of opportunities to meet and socialise with people I wouldn't normally have done so with, new languages to learn, new friends and a home in London. Having said all of that, I can't wait for September when I can move in with Adeel - and that's when all the fun begins and we have to learn to put up with each other's annoying little habits full time!

So here's to positivity - may I try harder to be a better, happier person, to enjoy life instead of moaning about it and to appreciate everything I do have.

And what better time to start it than my birthday month ☘

✌