The Infernal Devices: Book 1, Clockwork Angel

By Cassandra Clare.

Do  you ever get all these emotions and doubts run through your mind day after day and worry that things aren't going the way they're meant to be?

I do, mostly about my relationship, but then once he's here at the weekend I feel almost restored back to faith and like I've taken a chill pill.

God, the past two weekends have been so great. Although if I write it down it doesn't look like we did much, but I guess it's just the little moments and how I seem to be appreciating them all the more.

Ah, I feel so full of love for him ♥︎

Anyway, as much as I could probably write a full post on why I love him, I'm going to get on with the review instead.

[When Tessa Gray arrives in England during

the reign of Queen Victoria, something terrifying is

waiting for her in London's Downworld, where vampires, 

warlocks and other supernatural folk stalk the gaslit 

streets. Friendless and hunted, Tessa seeks refuge with 

the Shadowhunters, a band of demon hunters. Drawn 

ever deeper into their world, she finds herself fascinated 

by - and torn between - two best friends.]

I'm not too sure how I feel about these sorts of books anymore. 

Like, I think I've read far too many YA novels and am now so used to their predictable plot lines and complicated love triangles that I find myself growing restless whilst reading them.

However, it was an easy read, a very easy read, and I did enjoy the setting in Victorian London. Clare's description - as always - was beautiful and I could feel my mind bringing her ideas to life.

I liked the concept of the mechanical/clockwork creatures in this one. It was definitely different from the initial series with Clary and Jace. Not so much love drama, although there is a hint of it going in that direction and there is a mysteriousness about Will that is kind of enticing.

The other characters are all quite interesting. I'm not annoyed with Tessa or Jessamine yet, as the only prominent female figures. There's no unnecessary whining or selfish behaviour at the moment. Plus, I think Clare nailed the way women and men perceived each other back then with all the informal politeness and the men taking lead in the fighting. I didn't find it sexist at all like I have done in some books, Clare touches on it gracefully.

I enjoyed the plot and the twist at the end of who the Magister really was, definitely not who I expected! The epilogue left unanswered questions about Will which I can't wait to find out about and I'm intrigued as to how the plot continues and how it will all link up with The Mortal Instruments Series.



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Heart to Art

My final piece in Year 11

Think I've just watched the most traumatic episode of television for quite some time.

I mean, it was traumatic for me just because it was so heart wrenching. I even had to go and stand outside for a minute or two after just to think. Horrific.

Note to self: stop watching tv shows about viral outbreaks, they creep you out and they do not have happy endings.

Anyway, other than thinking about the tragic events in that last episode of Containment I have also been thinking a lot of late about art, especially with the timing of the new school year starting (not that I need to think about that anymore).

I never really hated school, but I never really liked it much either. It was so easy back then though and I kind of really miss it.

Roaming the hallways, getting to see your friends everyday, maybe even spend time with them after school sometimes, you'd have giggles over whether or not the guy you liked looked in your direction, or, even better, you actually spoke to him, and you'd learn interesting things and then go home to start on that massive pile of homework.

And then you'd get up the next day and do it all again.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the free evenings and weekends these days with no homework to do, but I miss the rest of it. The socialising, the learning, the growth as a person (physically and mentally).

You get older and you don't realise how much you took for granted. I never appreciated any of that when I was growing up and looking back, I wish I had. I wish I'd slowed down and enjoyed it more instead of wishing it away, wishing to be grown up already.

Okay, so I don't miss the bullies or the fact that I never felt good enough in my classes or for any of the boys I fancied or in the social click I was with.

It's weird. Although I mainly stuck to the one group with my best friend in, I did quite easily get on with a few others in different groups. So, from time to time I would hang out with them too. 

I guess I never really let the type of music I listened to or the clothes that I wore get in the way of who I made friends with. A good lesson to learn so early on considering a workplace (although I still find it to have clicks) is a much easier place to get to know everyone from all backgrounds.

Well, I'm getting rather off topic.

I actually started this post intending to show you a bit of my secondary school art and that I do miss. 

When I was back home, when my parents were visiting, I had a good flick through my art sketchbooks from Year 7 through to Year 11 and you know what? I was inspired.

I put so much work into it all, and not just the pieces of art themselves but the presentation and all.

I remember creating them all though, labouring on each evening with paints and colouring pencils and oil pastels just to get it all completed on time and to the best of my ability. This is the only subject in which you will ever hear me say that I know I deserved that A* and boy am I happy that I got it.

(Please ignore the terrible quality of these photos as they were just quick snaps to document my work as a reminder to myself to get drawing again sometime soon.)

I hope you enjoy them. 

What was your favourite subject at school?

Years 7-9 (I believe), baby me in the top corner

Years 7-9 (I believe)

Years 10-11 (I believe)

Year 11 (I believe)

Year 11

Year 10 or 11

Year 10 (I believe)

Year 10 or 11

Year 10 or 11

Mixture of a few different years!

Year 11

Year 11

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The Name of the Wind (The Kingkiller Chronicles, #1)

By Patrick Rothfuss.

Narrated by Rupert Degas.

Image From Goodreads

[Told in Kvothe's own voice, this is the tale of the 
magically gifted young man who grows to be the 
most notorious wizard his world has ever seen.

The intimate narrative of his childhood in a
troupe of travelling players, his years spent as a
near-feral orphan in a crime-ridden city, his
daringly brazen yet successful bid to enter a
legendary school of magic, and his life as a
fugitive after the murder of a king form a 
gripping coming-of-age story unrivalled in recent
literature.

A high-action story written with a poet's hand,
The Name of the Wind is a masterpiece that
will transport readers into the body and mind of
a wizard.]

Oh my god, I am loving listening to audiobooks. Why did I not do this sooner?!

I can't believe distributing audiobooks is one of my main tasks at work and it took me a good six months before I even thought about, just maybe, listening to one myself. 

Duh, what an idiot.

The Name of the Wind is a brilliant, intriguing, fascinating read (or listen in my case).

So far, I can determine that it is about a young man's adventure through childhood alone - after an unfortunate, tragic event occurs to his family - and his ambition to get to the university, so that he can finally learn about (and I presume track down) the people that took his family away from him so soon.

It is longggggg (just over 28 hours worth), but it is so worth it. Every detail and minor action is thought of, it is so beautiful.

I did struggle initially to get to grips with it, but I think that's only because of it's quite complex story (to begin with) as you're thrown right into the middle of it and have to learn all these new characters and places and events and terminology that Rothfuss just made up.

I did enjoy Rupert Degas's reading though, he can do a multitude of voices very well and I can clearly tell all of the characters apart from this.

I also absolutely loved the characters. I got so drawn into their lives that - even though there wasn't a whole lot of action action - you're completely intrigued by all of the mundane events that goes on. 

You end up really really rooting for Kvothe as he always seems to get himself into some sticky situations. You also forget that the whole thing is pretty much him telling his story to a scribe, occasionally flitting back to the present day.

The friendships (and even the enemy-relationships) are beautifully done. There is humour and knowledge and disbelief all entwined. And even though Kvothe is meant to be in his mid-teens, I can't help but root for him to get the girl.

It does say in the blurb that he's a wizard and I would just like to clarify for anyone who wants to read this that he isn't a wizard in the sense like Harry Potter, but it is a story that includes an underlying magical theme. 

Basically, whatever you think you know of magical literature, put it aside and be prepared to get something fresh and fantastic. 

I can't believe this was all just one day of him telling his story with the promise overall of three days (obviously within this one day he has told the majority of his childhood and teenage years).

I am definitely hooked on wanting to know what happens next, following his story as he grows into his adult years can only get more interesting I believe! 

(I am currently about 15 hours into the sequel which is an astonishing 43 hours long!!)

Absolutely brilliant.

What I'm Loving Right Now

For the last few weeks now, I've left it until the last possible minute to write these posts, I've taken pretty much three weeks off of running with going back home a couple of times and I seem to have lost all motivation of writing again.

Maybe it's because it's the end of summer and as the colder weather starts to creep back in I'm feeling a different kind of lazy.

The summer lazy is understandable, it's warm, you're sleepy, it's nice to just lounge in the sun, etcetera etcetera.

But this kind of lazy is just a tiredness in which I can't find the motivation to do anything. 

I've been powering through One Tree Hill again and they've just graduated high school and it's gone on to being four years later and it just astounds me that the majority of them can have their dreams come true so quickly. (I know it's just a TV show but it makes me want to work a little harder for my dream).

I really really want to be a writer, someone who writes incredible novels that people want to pick up and read, maybe even a bestseller. But, although I've written one novel (and am still in the process of editing it), I'm terrified it won't be good enough.

Like, there are so many stories and books out there that why would anyone decide to choose mine to read?

I don't know what to do, so I keep reading for inspiration.

I may start writing snippets that come into my head on here - unrelated to my book, just peaks into other stories I may expand on in the future.

I'm too scared of what others may think, but I also need opinions and giving it to my friends and family to read is one thing, but they're obviously going to be biased.

A couple of posts ago I wrote about facing your fears, and this is one I've yet to overcome.

Anyway, rambling aside, here are the things I've been loving recently:

Images From Pinterest

1. TV - The Musketeers, The Strain, Containment, Stranger Things - I just think TV has gotten so much better of late. I loved the final season of The Musketeers, it obviously wasn't the most realistic of endings but I wouldn't have exactly been happy if they'd killed anyone else off! Containment and Stranger Things are two new series I've been trying and they are so so good right now. I think with both of them I have about three episodes left of each! The Strain has also just re-started for it's third season and I have to say, it is so tense and gripping. I LOVE IT. (I seem to have a weird obsession with virus-y type programmes of late).

2. iPhone SE - I upgraded a few days ago, and although it looks exactly the same as my 5S, it is rose gold and has way more space for my photos. IOS 10 is also amazing. Me and Adeel have pretty much been conversing in GIFs alone of late, it's hilarious.

3. Fred Perry shoes - I wanted some new white plimsol-like trainers for ages and I saw this cute pair on ASOS. They weren't by any means cheap, and they are definitely a little dirtier now, but they're cute and I can wear them with anything.

4. Driving - I'm slowly gaining my confidence with driving again. I keep getting sudden urges to drive a bit further than just around the block or to Tescos, but I'm not entirely sure where to go. I need a proper destination and to set up my phone so that I can use it as a SatNav before I try anything too far!

5. My boyfriend - It's coming up to our four year anniversary and I'm mega excited. Not because we've planned anything special yet or anything, just because it means we will have gotten past the point last time in the relationship where we couldn't figure out how to go further. (Plus it's been four years ago around this time that we met each other for the first time! Eek.)

6. My friends - since spending time at home and being able to see my friends again (and getting my car), I've been thinking about trying to see them all a bit more. It's so difficult us all living so far apart, but hopefully the car will help with that. It's great to spend time with them, it makes me feel like I'm not alone, even just texting them. (I've been feeling very lonely of late and I'm not sure why.)

7. Working on my future - I've been at my job now, officially, for just coming up to a year (it's been a bit longer if you include work experience and interning too). We've just had our annual review things and I've been looking at new places to live and trying to get back into my writing again. It's a slow process but the future is looking bright, I hope :)

Dracula And Other Horror Classics

By Bram Stoker.

[Dracula and Other Horror Classics collects the most memorable
tales of horror by Bram Stoker. In addition to Dracula -- the
landmark vampire novel that set the pattern for virtually all
vampire fiction written after its publication in 1897 -- this
omnibus collects the novels The Jewel of Seven Stars and The 
Lair of the White Worm. It also includes a dozen of Stoker's
short tales of the macabre, including "Dracula's Guest", a
sidebar to his famous novel.

For more than a century, Bram Stoker's fiction has inspired
countless writers of horror and fantasy fiction. This volume
allows readers a unique opportunity to appreciate the full range
of his dark imagination.]

Dracula
I was worried initially that the writing style would be too difficult to grasp, but I was pleasantly surprised that it was rather easy. From what I can remember (I did begin it in April after all) Dracula started off reasonably well-paced. I found I enjoyed the story line with Lucy and her antics better than the subsequent manhunt for Dracula himself, meaning I didn't enjoy the ending as much as I could have. There was quite a bit of waffling as well that really wasn't needed which made the pace a bit slower right before the climax. I also found that the characters came to trust too easily and fell in love awfully quick, but maybe that was just part of the times.

The Jewel of Seven Stars
This one drew me in straight away with the Egyptian theme throughout (I find the whole mummies and curses ordeal fascinating). Again, I found that the protagonists fell in love way too quick for my tastes but I went along with it anyway. This, like Dracula, started off well then declined in a lot of unnecessary waffle followed by ending with a bang. I'm still in shock now at how this one ended so I would have to say this one might be my favourite out of the three longer tales as it was so unexpected.

The Lair of the White Worm
From reading the title to the end of this one, I was terribly confused. First of all, a worm? That's the big threat? And second of all, the plot was kind of all over the place. The love between the main characters seemed to happen instantly and then the death of a character had an absurd reasoning behind it. The only bit I really enjoyed was the climax-type scene towards the end because the imagery was really strong and this tiny bit made sense to me. I didn't understand half of what was going on though.

Dracula's Guest and Other Stories
The majority of these shorter tales, funnily enough, I rather enjoyed. They were quick and to the point, drawing me in and then abruptly ending in all sorts of weird ways. The Squaw, The Judge's House and The Burial of the Rats were my favourites out of the bunch with intriguing plots, a strong role for the familiars and beautiful imagery.

Overall, even though the writing was quite easy to navigate, it was still obvious that they were all written some time ago as the women were expected to stay out of the way and let all the men do the work and the racism in The Lair of the White Worm was absolutely horrendous!

Letting Go Of Fear

I've realised of late that I've been letting fear get the better of me again.

It's not anywhere near as bad as last time, in fact it's a whole different kind of fear (not so much the emetophobia I suffered from before, fear fear).

I've been going running now for quite a few months, yet every time my housemate is busy I feel like I can't go without him for fear of being attacked or laughed at or judged.

It may sound silly, but I've heard a lot of "horror" stories, as it were, about solo female runners and, well, I don't exactly feel like I live in the safest of areas.

So, the solution would be to run in a more public place right? 

Wrong. 

I can't stand the idea of being all sweaty and out of breath and hideous in front of loads of strangers in cars, on bikes, in groups. It makes my heart get all jittery and my stomach ties itself into a million knots.

I just feel ridiculous and like a coward, yet this is the one exercise I've found I really enjoy and keeps me fit and motivated.

There's also the fact that I just bought my first car and I drove it back to London and all of that weekend with my boyfriend beside me, giving me pointers and whatnot, comforting me.

But there comes a point when one must attempt it alone.

It terrifies me that after four years since passing my test they just allow you to get behind the steering wheel once more without so much as a freshen up of a driving lesson as a requirement.

I guess it's difficult for that sort of thing to be enforced but trying to get used to driving again with all the things you have to keep an eye on and all the things you have to remember and getting used to a new car is really really daunting and hard, especially in London.

I won't wear dresses or skirts or show much leg at all because I think they're too pale and people will judge me.

I don't tend to go places alone, especially not restaurants, for fear of looking like a loner or getting picked on by some weirdo. 

It always happens, even just walking down the street, some weirdo will pick me to hurl his insults at or (and this is probably worse) the wolf whistling and cat-calling. It's horrible. I can never tell whether they're being serious or not. Plus it makes me feel really uncomfortable, either way.

I won't finish my book because I'm scared it's just not good enough. I keep putting it off even though I love writing it.

I feel like a coward and like I'm being stupid because I can't seem to work up the courage to do any of these things alone or at all.

What happened to being a strong, independent woman huh if I need someone to do these things with me?

---

I wrote this post a few days ago.

Since then, I have in fact driven by myself - albeit only around the block a few times. But I managed to parallel park by myself and I didn't stall once. That equals success in my books.

I wore a dress today, out in Westfield, on a busy Sunday and I ran by myself this morning.

I still need to work on them, trust me, but there's still time to progress.

I will beat back my fears one step at a time.

Suicide Squad

Merhhhh. 

I swear. This bedroom I live in is either too hot or too cold. It is never just right.

I've got a 40 year old who acts like a toddler in the house, refusing to tidy up after himself so there I am acting like the mother hen and then he just goes and messes it all up again.

The rest of the tenants do jack all to help either.

I'm the youngest in this God damned house and I'm the one with the most common decency and respect for a place we all equally rent and share.

It's infuriating, excruciatingly infuriating living with that monumental asshat and all these randoms time in and time out.

I've been in this house for three years. Three bloody years.

If I don't get out of here soon I'm going to go crazy.

To continue with the rant-like ness I'm going for let's get on with the review.

Suicide Squad, what an absolute pile of crap.

Image From Pinterest

Considering the cast and all of the hype from this film I was expecting a lot more, although the reviews were terrible - I'll give it that.

But instead, I got a half assed plot-line that made absolutely no sense, a bunch of characters with barely any back story or depth to them and a very, very dull 2 hours of trying to stay sane.

The majority of the characters were pretty boring. I don't even remember their names to be honest except The Joker, Harley Quinn and the Witch/Enchantress, whatever you want to call her.

I can't make up my mind if I liked Cara Delevingne's character or not. She was beautiful, obviously but the voice when she changed into the witch was a bit weird plus she was defeated way too easily for my liking.

Will Smith was boring. Jai Courtney was boring.

Boring, boring, boring.

And don't even get me started on what I thought of The Joker. Terrifyingly and unnecessarily unattractive for starters, awful acting and - even though he was made out to be a bleedin' main character - was only actually in the film for a sum of about ten minutes.

Jared Leto should stick to singing. At least he's good at that.

Right, the positives of the film - however few there may be - was that I rather liked and enjoyed Margot Robbie's performance as Harley Quinn.

I can see how she may irritate some as she was quite full on, but I thought she did a great job and really pulled the film through to the end.

I also appreciated the wonderful cinematography. The vivid colours and the way it was shot was beautiful, it's just such a shame the content was all over the place.

Comic book films, superhero films, super villain films, whatever you want to call them, are getting too much.

Overkill or what.

Please do yourself a favour if you haven't seen this and do not watch it.

Glad I didn't pay to see this shite in the cinema.

---

Rating:
★☆☆☆☆

Unbroken

By Laura Hillenbrand.

So, I'd heard a little about this from the recent-ish film that came out and was curious.

I find the idea of war enticing, fascinating, intriguing. I don't know why. 

Maybe because it's just so different from what we're used to these days and we learnt about the different World Wars in school a lot.

It's just so surreal to think that all of this literally happened. 

Our grandparents probably saw the tail end of the Second World War and I just can't imagine what that would've been like for them. 

Let alone what it has been like for them to witness such a drastic leap in technology and all.

It's honestly pretty amazing when you think about it like that.

Anyways, Unbroken: An Extraordinary True Story of Courage and Survival.

[In 1943 a bomber crashes into the Pacific Ocean.
Against all odds, one young lieutenant survives. Louis
Zamperini had already transformed himself from child
delinquent to prodigious athlete, running in the Berlin
Olympics. Now he must embark on one of the Second
World War's most extraordinary odysseys. Zamperini
faces thousands of miles of open ocean on a failing
raft. Beyond lie only greater trials, in Japan's
prisoner-of-war camps.

Driven to the limits of endurance, Zamperini's
destiny, whether triumph or tragedy, depends
on the strength of his will...]

I'm not really a fan of non-fiction works - or at least I thought I wasn't - but this book is absolutely brilliant.

To be fair, when I picked it up I was actually unaware that it was non-fiction (or a true story), merely knowing that it was about war.

Heartbreaking, astounding, shocking and utterly mesmerising. This one pulls on all of the heartstrings, yet has a reasonably happy ending for all that was went through.

Louis Zamperini sounded like such an amazing, strong individual and I can't even begin to imagine how all of those POWs got through the war camps, or how any of the men involved in the war got through any of it really, even life after. 

How would you go on after going through something like that?

I'm intrigued to see the film version of this now, but this book definitely deserves a read. It taught me a lot about the Second World War and the strength and determination to keep going, no matter what.

Phenomenal.

Elantris

This is a few days late. It's been a mega hectic kinda week so I apologise for the tardiness.

Audio book numero trois: Elantris

By Brandon Sanderson,

Narrated by Jack Garrett

Image from Goodreads

[Elantris was built on magic and it thrived. But
then the magic began to fade and Elantris
began to rot. Now its shattered citizens face
domination by a powerful Imperium. Can a
young Princess unite the people of Elantris, and
lead a rebellion against the imperial zealots?]

I love Brandon Sanderson's novels.

I love the way he writes. 

He always uses so much detail and colour and vibrancy. 

It creates such a clear picture in my mind that it's like watching a film come to life.

I love getting to know his characters as well. 

Raoden and Sarene, in particular, were very good protagonists, but even Hrathen in the end was another I came to enjoy reading about.

They were all portrayed so realistically - character trait-wise, not magical element-wise - that you couldn't not love them, despite their faults. 

Even the minor characters were well-developed and interesting.

The plot was flawless. 

The way Sanderson flicks between different points of view is great, it really gives a full view of the story and the twist at the end was brilliant. 

I really didn't see it coming.

There's a beautiful mix of magic, love, friendship, religion and action in this epic first novel of Sanderson's.

It really is a great read - or listen - and I'm thoroughly looking forward to listening to more of his novels in the future!




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