Thoughts On Being Stubborn

What is the point in being stubborn?

I mean does it really do anyone any good?

adjective

• having or showing dogged determination not to change one's attitude or position on something, especially in spite of good reasons to do so
• difficult to move, remove, or cure

I've tried a lot in the past few months to not be as stubborn as I know I have been, but there are just some weeks that, no matter what, I will be horrifically difficult, so much so that I'm only causing myself problems in the process.

So why are we stubborn?

I find that, for me, being stubborn is actually resisting what I really want to do in my heart. But going against what I want to do is somehow showing that I'm strong, I don't depend on people, or that I've simply given up feeling like I do when I'm not being stubborn.

I have a feeling none of this is making even the slightest bit of sense.

But, for instance, of late I feel a lot like if people want to remain friends then they should contact me first for a change because I always seem to be the one to initiate. But then, should you really think like that if you want to remain friends with them?

One case of this is the fact that someone recently sort of is not in my life so much anymore and they haven't said a word since, yet they've contacted others. I mean maybe the others contacted them first and I'm just overthinking it, but I feel like they don't consider me a friend when I felt like we clearly were for the past year, so I don't know.

The other case is with Adeel. If he annoys me or I'm not getting enough of his attention I tend to be short with him to show that I'm annoyed instead of just telling him what's wrong. And then he gets annoyed and so on. It's stupid. I'm stupid.

I end up arguing with myself back and forth for weeks sometimes about whether or not I should quit being so stubborn and just own up to my mistakes or initiate the conversation.

And a lot of the time I do, but there's this one situation where I just haven't given in yet and I can't bring myself to change my mind otherwise.

Basically being stubborn does you no good in the long run and you should focus on trying to be a better person instead of hoping others will change.

At the end of the day if you're the nicest person you can be then it doesn't matter how others treat you because you've done all you can.

Sorry for the weird rant this week.